In case you haven't heard, the NFL owners voted to curtail endzone celebrations. As near as I can tell, players can still spike the ball or dunk it, but can't use props. And also, they have to stay on their feet. I've come across two reasons for this vote, and they are both mind-bogglingly stupid. The first arguement is that they consume too much time, making the game longer. All the commercial breaks and Joe Thiesman idiocies are OK, but not endzone celebrations. This is so flagrantly and insultingly moronic that I can't even think straight. I've tried to see the logic here, but I can't.
The other reason I've come across is that children playing football are emulating football players. So the fuck what? Is it suddenly the NFL's responsibility to raise children? You're a bunch of god damn entertainers for christ's sweet sake. No one, absolutely no one, watches NFL for child raising tips. Any parent that tells his child to watch T.O. or Chad Johnson and do what they do deserves to be put to death. While the kid watches. Cuz I think that'll teach the kid a lesson...about something.
At any rate, I don't really know where the NFL gets off pulling this crap. Especially because so many people are paying ridiculously high prices just to get into a game (note the average price of an NFL ticket in 2003 was $52). If I'm gonna fork out fifty-plus bucks to see a football game, I want to be entertained. (Also, note that that the league of fans isn't a superhero club, but something completely different and founded by Ralph Nader.) Half the reason people watch games is to see what whacky, zany celebration Johnson or Smith or T.O. will come up with next. Said Tony Dungee after the vote (which he voted FOR curtailing celebrations) "I'm looking forward to seeing what Chad will come to celebrate with now." You shithead. You absolute shithead. From now on, anyone who says what a great guy Dungee is gets kicked in the nuts. No questions asked. And that goes double for girls. Right in the nuts. That's right. And it's sad because I like Peyton. But now I have to hope the Colts lose every single game this season on account of Tony Dungee is a gigantic ass.
